Disparate Parts

When teaching yoga classes, I often speak of joining together the disparate parts of ourselves. I heard this line, I think, from Kia Miller, a yoga teacher whose teachings align with my practice and heart. I interpreted her “disparate parts” as scattered qualities or desires, like wayward marbles rolling into hidden corners of your house. Our “lost marbles” in this case might represent a sense of adventure, inspiration, or enthusiasm. They could be latent leadership qualities, or the ability to connect to a softer side of one’s being. Whatever it is, bringing these forgotten pieces of our personalities back together, grants us a more complete and holistic version of ourselves. When we rediscover a lost quality or trait, it is freeing and we become more aligned with truth.

Real Journey

Walking through the woods with my beau after work a couple of days ago was a Sagittarius adventure. We laughed and cringed as we ducked and weaved through spiderwebs and tree branches, wiping at our faces (sorry, spiders) and attempting to find our way out of the woods. It was our first time on this trail. A kind neighbor told us about it and warned that the path veered off in a few directions, but that if you found the correct path (he did not specify which one) it would lead to you the road right across from the park – our destination. Instead, we went “off-trailing” and inadvertently destroyed more spiderwebs, climbing over a stonewall and finally onto the road that lead to the park. One way or another we had made it (we’d work on finding the paved exit next time), and it made me think of a Wendell Berry quote: “When we no longer know what to do, we have come to our real work and when we no longer know which way to go, we have begun our real journey.”

Exiting The Woods

When my boyfriend and I met 9 months ago, when we were still strangers, I was feeling lost and unsettled in my life story, not exactly in the ideal place for a new relationship, but something bigger was pulling us together. He once said, it was like we crashed into each other and I imagined us landing from our disparate planets. It was late summer and I had just arrived back in the tristate area from Florida, an adventure turned nightmare, and accepted, in the ninth inning, a teaching position at a school that was urgently hiring (I was set to start at another school – an aide position with a salary so low I had planned on working an evening job), where my soon-to-be boyfriend had been working for over a year. I was metaphorically emerging from the woods when I met him. The relationship, when I finally surrendered and accepted that this/he was “my path” (in the beginning, I let him know I was in no way, shape, or form relationship material) brought hope and inspiration – feelings I hadn’t experienced in a long while and that happen to be Sagittarius’ domain (He is a Sagittarius).

Sagittarius comes after Scorpio in the zodiac, and during Scorpio season (or in this case, moon days) we are in the thick of it; when Sagittarius comes on the scene it can feel like exiting the woods into the sunshine, under the wide open sky. It can be like everything coming together at once.

Coming Together

Once, I received feedback from a teacher/editor that my essay was “not coming together.” She did not soften it with a “yet” or “quite” or offer a “here’s how you can make it come together.” It felt like a door slamming on my face: the opposite of Sagittarius’ open doors of opportunity. It was a comment I won’t forget because it hit on deeply rooted feelings about myself and life – that I was not “together” or “on track” – that I was, in fact, a mess. In moments when I feel vulnerable or ashamed, I hear those words: Not coming together.

As bad as that can feel, it is a state we often need to endure to get to the next phase; the phase where we can see a meaningful pattern for the first time that was not apparent when we were so close to the experience.

Sagittarius is the coming together of parts into a whole that may look, from a distance, like they had always belonged together; that they were an effortless and seamless match, but you know that it took experience, wisdom, and perspective- building to create.

The Art Gallery at Rockefeller State Park Preserve, 125 Phelps Way, Pleasantville, NY

Woven Together

During the Sagittarius Full Moon phase (May 23 9:53 am EST), you may receive the results of work put in, in the form of various parts forming into a cohesive whole; they may be pieces you were not even sure would amount to anything.

Several months ago, prior to moving home from FL, I was in a heightened state of distress. I had reached a turning point (AKA a reality check) and saw with full clarity that my life choices were not supporting me – the ground under me was cracking. My mother had died not long before that and it felt, all at once, like the safety net that had always been there (the one I took for granted) was irrevocably gone. The lack of direction and security in my life path was suddenly alarming and frightening. How had I gotten here? One night, mid distress, I had a flash (not in thought form, but a visual representation) of an imaginary LinkedIn profile that showcased the plethora of personal-development books I had read, the schooling, trainings and courses I had completed, the projects I had created, the classes I had taught, the essays I had written, etc. In my mind’s eye, the disparate parts were woven together for the first time. It was like a very vivid and intricate tapestry (still in need of a bit more sewing/weaving) of my life’s work, and for the first time, I felt proud. I felt accomplished. I felt wise. It was an unfamiliar and random feeling (where had it come from?), but relief washed over my heart and I was able to sleep that night. An inner voice said, you’re okay; it’s all coming together.

The relationship with my Sagittarius boyfriend helps to bring the varied parts of myself together because I see myself through his eyes. And it is a very sunny, generous, and different view than I’m used to (child of Saturn here). It’s a Sagittarius view.

A Sagittarius view

So, what are you weaving together in your life? What does your Sagittarius view look like?

Have you neglected or forgotten the important experiences, skills, traits, and wisdom you gained along the way, like those scattered marbles?

How can you gather them together into a meaningful whole – a whole that uniquely represents you?